Blurred lines

   Yesterday, I was riding in a taxi and the song "blurred lines" came on. It reminded me of a meme and I laughed a little but then I kept thinking of what it reminded me of. It reminded me of people telling me how I could do great things but I had to work twice as hard as my male equivalent. It reminded me of someone telling me how men here think American woman want sex because that's what they see in American TV. I added 'and songs' as I sat in the taxi. It reminded me of hearing a two year old boy sing the song while I babysat him in the states. It reminded me of his mother whose husband has another family in another state. It reminded me that he recently left to choose the other family. It reminded me of hearing neighbors screaming in the middle of the night and praying to God that it was a scary movie. It reminded me of all the articles I've read about rape and all the struggles women have had because they are viewed as objects. Because they are for pleasure, to look at, to cook, to clean, to use, to ignore. I remembered how I've had people warn me so many times in my life, and especially here, that I need to be extra cautious of men because just the fact that I'm female is usually enough to blur a no into a yes. I remembered how I always knew, and how I'll always know, that those people are telling the truth. Because no matter what I do, how hard I work to earn respect, how confident I am, or how much I close myself off from humanity (or should I say huMANity) I will always be at risk. Before coming here, I looked up women's rights and the only thing I could find was that if a woman is raped and she goes to the police, then they will arrest her for premarital sex and her offender will be left alone. No ID tests, no investigations, nothing. 

   That was the most scared I've ever been in a taxi. I hope I never have to face the fears that every female has to live with and that many females and males have to endure. 

   On Saturday, I saw the movie divergent. It was amazing to see how feminism was portrayed so blatantly and beautifully. On another note, it was surreal to see the preview for son of God play before the movie started. Almost as surreal as the concert I went to Thursday night, it was Chris Tomlin. Passion 2014 Abu Dhabi with an hour long talk from Louie Giglio about how great our god is and how awesome his works throughout the universe are. Surreal. Surreal to sing with 5000 believers that we would be the light in this city shining for all to see. Surreal to hear Louie Giglio thank Sheiks and crown princes for allowing this concert to happen. 

   In the midst of fear, God's surreal presence is unavoidable. 

18-3-14

I didn't foresee how confusing reading and writing dates would be here. I didn't even know they did it differently, but I guess it makes sense. At least they drive on the right side of the road. 

Anywho, I've been here nearly three weeks! I'm not sure if it's been a long time or a short time, it feels like both. I like it here. Well enough. I wouldn't want to move here, but it's fine. I miss corn tortillas and their biproducts like chips and tostada shells. They don't have TexMex restaurants here which makes sense but also not at the same time. I think the thing I miss most is my small freedoms. Having my own car, scheduling my own time, things like that. Being able to say "I want to go buy some salsa" and then doing it. Maybe I just really miss chips and salsa. That's probably what it is. I seriously need some good TexMex pronto. Mom, Dad, take note. The first place we go when I get back, regardless of the time of day, is la tapatia or something equally delicious. While we're at it, just bring a jar of Clint's and a bag of unsalted chips. 

It's not that bad here, at least I can cook TexMex. And they have refried beans which I wasn't expecting!

I enjoy being here, but there are so many things happening this summer that I'm pretty ready to be done. I still have a lot of things to do while I'm here, but summer can't come quick enough. It's going to be the most eventful summer for my family in a long time and probably for a long time. I'm surprised by how much I miss my family. Every day I appreciate them more (not that I wasn't appreciating them before...) I think that after 18 years of changing friendships and neighbors and aquantces and whatnot, it's always family that stays with you and that gets you the best. They've seen you being an evil child, a confused middle schooler, a socially awkward cheerleader captain, and yourself. 

I did things and met people this past weekend and it was cool because this one guy from Egypt was really knowledgable about the Quran and stuff so now I know more. I could have made that less vague. Or more vague. I think the issue with me blogging is that I don't like talking about my life very much. If I've told someone a story, I don't want to retell it. If I'm tired, I don't want to words. If it's a long story, it always ends up vague and like 15 words long. "I went to the place and bowled it was alright. Our lane was glitchy. Bummer."

This picture has nothing to do with anything. I just feel like it sums up my life pretty well. It was taken back in Texas as a senior photo. I'm feeling unstructured about this blog, bear with me. 

The other side of the world

So here I am, in the Middle East, with a nine hour time difference. Life feels pretty normal. If anything, I have less stress. Less last minute schedule changes and unplanned meals. I'm a person who thrives with schedules, so this is nice. Everyday I wake up at 6 in the morning and go make breakfast and pack lunches then I go and make a checklist of everything I need to accomplish by the end of the day. When I'm finished, then I read books until it's time to start making dinner. It's very relaxing. 

I've gotten a few chances to see the culture so far. People here are crazy. Overall, it's really not that much different than the states. Everything is much more expensive, but everyone is loaded so they don't tend to mind. An interesting thing I've noticed is that everyone has nice cars. Nobody has a junker. Even the school busses are Mercedes. That's not a joke. 

It's weird talking to people and noticing that the way they phrase things is so opposite of how I would view it. They don't wish they could get something, they want to come back with their mom to buy it. They don't worry about whether their option at a resteraunt would be too costly or not. They take taxis all the time and don't think twice about the 60 AED they just spent. 

Life feels the same, but I can't help noticing differences. Every few hours some neighbor plays Arabic music that I'm pretty sure is related to prayer rituals. There are mosques all over, but no churches. The fields are of sand, not wild flowers. The signs are posted in both Arabic and English. At church, I can see the full meaning of a melting pot society and a united faith. I think that's my favorite part. 

I love being like a big sister to Kennedy and Siera. I braid their hair, play them songs, cook for them and listen to them talk about things that are on their minds. Siera draws me pictures and shows me all her art. She's crazy talented for a 7 year old. I'm so glad that I like the family and vice versa. They always compliment me which makes me feel sort of uncomfortable, but also appreciated. Sometimes, it's nice to hear people brag about you. 

I've met a couple girls my age. One girl Daisy, that I went bowling with is pretty cool. She's super sweet and we get along well. I also met some other girls who I went to an American Football game with but they mostly ignored me and most sentences they said either contained or provoked profanity. 

So far I like it here, but I'm excited to get back and see all my family and friends. I miss them. It's difficult not being able to talk often because the time difference is so huge. It's always late for one of us and early for the other. 

Pictures!

This beach is about a five minute walk from where I'm living. 

Dubai mall

Dubai mall

Tallest building in the world which I will not attempt to pretend I can spell

Because church meets at a zoo, that's why. 

Tourist photo with Texas Roadhouse and some Muslim ladies. 

A handful of the pictures Siera has made me.